i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
