At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
