at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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