She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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