I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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