You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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