apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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