so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
