I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
