Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
