Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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