So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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