HIV tests are more positive than that guy
id be glad to
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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