Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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