the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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