Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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