Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
