Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
