Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(234): View more from Ohio

Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey

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(201): View more from New Jersey

nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

Fav 13 1460 4554
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(416): View more from Toronto

When did you hit me on the head with a stool?

Fav 10 1170 1642
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(812): View more from Indiana

Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this

Fav 3 1515 859
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(940): View more from Texas

He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.

Fav 12 3298 915
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(630): View more from Illinois

you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"

Fav 2 1226 624
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(518): View more from New York

Everclear isn't food dammit

Fav 3 150 112
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(217): View more from Illinois

I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?

Fav 0 104 13
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