Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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