After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
