Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
