I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
