the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Panties = found
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