were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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