Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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