i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
