Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
