we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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