if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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