Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!