Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?

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  (248) 3:38a: you guys up to anything right now? http://tfl.nu/ssfd
  Replies (9) Good night (1775) Bad night (1100)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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  (202): And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan." http://tfl.nu/9mrq
  Replies (17) Good night (2077) Bad night (816)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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  (504): Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come. http://tfl.nu/6ryd
  Replies (75) Good night (5464) Bad night (734)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year

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  (248): ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year http://tfl.nu/bdbv
  Replies (9) Good night (6201) Bad night (1081)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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  (403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5
  Replies (8) Good night (5894) Bad night (1500)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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  (908): I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked http://tfl.nu/8tmt
  Replies (11) Good night (4068) Bad night (954)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3393) Bad night (1216)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

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  (504): Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone. http://tfl.nu/v2z6
  Replies (14) Good night (3087) Bad night (1085)
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  (619): View more from California

  the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting

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  (619): the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting http://tfl.nu/ov15
  Replies (9) Good night (1539) Bad night (878)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1803) Bad night (2690)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

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  (774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc
  Replies (9) Good night (3977) Bad night (1409)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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  (248): She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use. http://tfl.nu/2c8i
  Replies (14) Good night (1132) Bad night (1016)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.

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  (208): When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls. http://tfl.nu/qm6d
  Replies (0) Good night (932) Bad night (424)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car

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  (806): Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car http://tfl.nu/zknv
  Replies (4) Good night (237) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.

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  (774): Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home. http://tfl.nu/bdgc
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (253)

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