Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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  (734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl
  Replies (118) Good night (38382) Bad night (1461)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial

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  (567): i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial http://tfl.nu/1q06
  Replies (26) Good night (721) Bad night (3912)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me

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  (515): They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me http://tfl.nu/jqeo
  Replies (30) Good night (1836) Bad night (5827)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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  (517): the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/ah1s
  Replies (36) Good night (882) Bad night (4627)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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  (828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj
  Replies (7) Good night (1456) Bad night (3748)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

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  (203): It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work. http://tfl.nu/tfd2
  Replies (14) Good night (881) Bad night (3780)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

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  (613): Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs. http://tfl.nu/sez7
  Replies (9) Good night (1105) Bad night (3072)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.

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  (770): She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40. http://tfl.nu/qfdq
  Replies (7) Good night (2391) Bad night (808)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."

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  (270): You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money." http://tfl.nu/lp5j
  Replies (6) Good night (2332) Bad night (621)
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  (310): View more from California

  Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!

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  (310): Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type! http://tfl.nu/avo3
  Replies (7) Good night (2506) Bad night (570)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (762) Bad night (1034)
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  (464): View more from Illinois

  He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.

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  (464): He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit. http://tfl.nu/lyxm
  Replies (10) Good night (2446) Bad night (621)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness

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  (843): Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness http://tfl.nu/qoug
  Replies (0) Good night (705) Bad night (440)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Cockoligist

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Yes, one may refer to me as that.

  (587): View more from Alberta

  I should make business cards.

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  (780): Cockoligist (587): Yes, one may refer to me as that. (587): I should make business cards. http://tfl.nu/nsw3
  Replies (8) Good night (782) Bad night (343)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality

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  (+44): I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality http://tfl.nu/sxru
  Replies (8) Good night (912) Bad night (353)

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