my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.