I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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