Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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