unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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