they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
