To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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