I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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