Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
