please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Shame is for Republicans.
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