is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
