Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

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(574): View more from Indiana

its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.

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(813): View more from Florida

well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked

Fav 23 4420 1944
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(254): View more from Texas

Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??

Fav 12 877 1960
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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(567): View more from Ohio

I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.

Fav 6 1369 2015
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(951): View more from California

diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.

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(209): View more from California

I will pee on everything he values.

Fav 8 1558 909
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(512): View more from Texas

I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.

Fav 3 36 102
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