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• (509): View more from Washington

  My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Found a pint glass in my snow pants.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.

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• (858): View more from California

  who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex

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