Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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  (407): If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that. http://tfl.nu/f0c3
  Replies (24) Good night (3153) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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  (310): she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator http://tfl.nu/t2x8
  Replies (16) Good night (767) Bad night (3350)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.

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  (856): take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month. http://tfl.nu/ebzl
  Replies (23) Good night (957) Bad night (4325)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3949) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like

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  (901): i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like http://tfl.nu/ceub
  Replies (41) Good night (3281) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.

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  (609): I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me. http://tfl.nu/wd99
  Replies (43) Good night (917) Bad night (5285)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'

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  (778): No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain' http://tfl.nu/2rma
  Replies (28) Good night (1855) Bad night (7890)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

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  (503): I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours. http://tfl.nu/1oq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1672) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird

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  (608): Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird http://tfl.nu/qw9p
  Replies (5) Good night (914) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.

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  (816): Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on. http://tfl.nu/u2o1
  Replies (13) Good night (2135) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -

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  (973): That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan - http://tfl.nu/yuzz
  Replies (5) Good night (385) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.

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  (816): Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break. http://tfl.nu/ueuh
  Replies (5) Good night (444) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.

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  (505): wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days. (505): ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it. http://tfl.nu/p1xm
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.

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  (619): She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had. http://tfl.nu/ze7k
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break

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  (916): I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break http://tfl.nu/kjzw
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (149)

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