Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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(334): how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs. http://tfl.nu/0f51

Replies (19) Good night (731) Bad night (2000)
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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(718): Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen. http://tfl.nu/l1y2

Replies (34) Good night (4592) Bad night (615)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

seriously i just wanna be friends

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

pass

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(508): seriously i just wanna be friends (1-508): pass http://tfl.nu/b8w4

Replies (39) Good night (1432) Bad night (5827)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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(580): I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch. http://tfl.nu/axjt

Replies (31) Good night (6079) Bad night (961)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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(724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0

Replies (60) Good night (792) Bad night (4331)
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(714): View more from California

walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

(714): View more from California

he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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(714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot

Replies (44) Good night (4846) Bad night (8529)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it

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(717): if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it http://tfl.nu/n58g

Replies (16) Good night (3473) Bad night (1526)
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(+36): View more from

until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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(+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay

Replies (4) Good night (2182) Bad night (540)
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(407): View more from Florida

When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.

(301): View more from Maryland

Did you reintroduce yourself?

(407): View more from Florida

He threatened to call the cops.

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(407): When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house. (301): Did you reintroduce yourself? (407): He threatened to call the cops. http://tfl.nu/0bcc

Replies (8) Good night (714) Bad night (1978)
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(720): View more from Colorado

So you met him?

(1-720): View more from Colorado

More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.

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(720): So you met him? (1-720): More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home. http://tfl.nu/2r4i

Replies (1) Good night (1443) Bad night (597)
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(305): View more from Florida

One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.

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(305): One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud. http://tfl.nu/ff3s

Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (477)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point

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(205): I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point http://tfl.nu/73b4

Replies (15) Good night (657) Bad night (2247)
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(248): View more from Michigan

You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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(248): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/8umi

Replies (7) Good night (1514) Bad night (554)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.

(651): View more from Minnesota

You are a terrible person.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I just try to be optimistic...

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(763): I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless. (651): You are a terrible person. (763): I just try to be optimistic... http://tfl.nu/01d9

Replies (5) Good night (1197) Bad night (402)
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(406): View more from Montana

My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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(406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj

Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (297)

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