Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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