he shaved USA in his pubs
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY