Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.

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(415): I have had sex with more partners than how old he is. http://tfl.nu/ztoc

Replies (6) Good night (1510) Bad night (745)
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(812): View more from Indiana

dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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(812): dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere. http://tfl.nu/598l

Replies (20) Good night (781) Bad night (4073)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

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(864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume. http://tfl.nu/gbul

Replies (53) Good night (1511) Bad night (5820)
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(214): View more from Texas

I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.

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(214): I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall. http://tfl.nu/zz1u

Replies (35) Good night (5850) Bad night (1664)
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(904): View more from Florida

taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

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(904): taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport http://tfl.nu/zg9o

Replies (20) Good night (6861) Bad night (1007)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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(203): So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore http://tfl.nu/h83b

Replies (11) Good night (946) Bad night (5416)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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(860): Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise. http://tfl.nu/z4y1

Replies (9) Good night (798) Bad night (4101)
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(807): View more from Ontario

at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.

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(807): at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket. http://tfl.nu/odip

Replies (8) Good night (5238) Bad night (1633)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.

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(512): Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent. http://tfl.nu/bb3p

Replies (7) Good night (1122) Bad night (2386)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.

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(860): Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage. http://tfl.nu/sckj

Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (794)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.

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(540): Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach. http://tfl.nu/d58b

Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (715)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"

(978): View more from Massachusetts

or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"

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(978): I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it" (978): or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored" http://tfl.nu/zr7x

Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (591)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face

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(403): I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face http://tfl.nu/maqf

Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (319)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.

(641): View more from Iowa

I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.

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(641): Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground. (641): I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall. http://tfl.nu/v6jy

Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (305)
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(707): View more from California

He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.

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(707): He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/0sea

Replies (2) Good night (493) Bad night (217)

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