Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
