i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
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Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.