You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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