Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
