Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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