woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
