He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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