I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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