so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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