but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You need Xanax blowdarts
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
