1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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