I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
