Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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