Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
