Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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