So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
this hospital has no fireball
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
