Did you just see the Batmobile???
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
