when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
