Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
