i would punch a child for taco bell
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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