I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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