Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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