btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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