Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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